Off With Danny Ainge's Head

It has been over 6 months since my last post, so it has to be something drastic to bring Boston Joe/Joe The Intern out of his pseudo retirement. No the Red Sox building the 14 1/2 game lead over the Yankees brought me to my computer, or the trade for Randy Moss, pick up of Addalius Thomas, Donte Stallworth, Wes Welker, or any of the other acquisitions the Patriots have made this off season. Instead it is a story of confusing bewilderment, there is no other team that fits this more than the Boston Celtics.

Was it not bad enough that the Celtics didn't get Oden or Durant, but instead fell to the fifth pick? I'll admit sitting on break today reading the Boston Herald learning about the Celtics options with their fifth pick, I was encouraged. I won't go to in depth but our options were looking good. It almost made me forget about the fact that Kevin Garnett didn't want to play for us, or any other marquee big man would want to play for us. All of their options had decent size and within a year could contribute.

So at about 9:30 I tune my TV into ESPN and see that the Celtics drafted Jeff Green a 6'9", 235 lbs. Forward from Georgetown.

"Ok," I said to myself, "A little bit of size nice work."

I then turn the TV to my VCR and watch the Longest Yard. I then drive home to find my father awake asking me if I heard the trade. My initial thought was that the rumors were false and Kevin Garnett was going to come to Boston. My dad quickly brought me back down to earth. For a second I forgot that the Celtics were run by Danny Ainge. Nothing that good would ever happen to us.

Instead the Celtics trade the rights of Green to Seattle along with Wally Sczerbiak and Delonte West. Now before I tell you who the Celtics got I need to say a few things. Wally I'm ok with he is often injured and in my opinion the Celtics never should have gotten in the first place. Green I would be fine with as long as the Celtics got a big man or Kevin Durant, and as for West, I am deeply saddened by the departure of West, of the Celtic's draft picks in recent years, he has been the most consistent and I believe he will be a very good player, perhaps a step underneath Chauncey Billups?

So who did the Celtics get? They got a great player in the trade in Ray Allen, but if I'm not mistaken doesn't he play the same position as Paul Pierce. I also don't think this is the type of veteran Pierce was talking about, how about a big man. Maybe this will be enough to lure Garnett here, but highly doubtful. The Celtics also got Glen Davis of Louisiana State University.

I am encouraged by the acquisition of Allen, but he is not what the Celtics need to become a powerhouse in the east, they need a dominant presence in the paint that is at least 7'0". That is the only way the Celtics can bring home a 17th championship.

Joe the Intern Signing Off.

Championship Sunday

So it has been a long while since I updated this blog and I figured what better time to do it then right now. I mean tonight at around 6:30 the New England Patriots will be taking on the Indianapolis Colts for the AFC Championship and the exclusive rights to go to Super Bowl XLI in Miami, Florida.

I was watching ESPN this morning and they were talking about what their panel of analysts thought about the two teams coaches and other off the wall questions that really have no bearing on how the game will be played. One specific question really tweaked a nerve or something because here I am writing this post. The question was, “How many super bowl championships would Peyton Manning have if he played for the New England Patriots?”

The panel unanimously agreed that he would have just as many rings, three, as Tom Brady. All fine and dandy, but they clearly didn’t take the time to look at this question and give it any intelligent thought. Look at the teams that Manning had and look at the teams that Brady had over the years. Manning had more talent Brady had more heart.

In the years Brady has been winning Super Bowls Manning has set the records, won the MVP’s, and been the favorite during the regular season. Yes, I understand that Brady had a good defense to go along with his capable offense, but with Manning’s talent he could put up four or five touchdowns a game easily. Despite this he hasn’t won a Super Bowl or an AFC Championship.

The basic fact is that Manning has historically choked in the months of the season where it mattered most. Brady has been the complete opposite having an almost perfect record in the playoffs, only one loss.

The Patriots and Colts have been two of the leagues elite teams for six years now. And I can pick and choose from many things that make them completely different. Both teams have great coaches, but only one of them has won a Super Bowl. Both have great Quarterbacks, but again only one of them has won a Super Bowl. The Patriots defense is great the Colts in inconsistent. The opposite is true about the offense with the Colts being great and the Patriots is reliable, but no where near the threat of the Colts

The Patriots stress the team, no one player is bigger than the team. Probably why Brady, who bought into Belichick’s system, took far less money than any of the elite starting Quarterbacks in the league, by saying something along the lines of the organization being able to spend the money in better ways than he ever could. He isn’t about stats; the only stat that matters to Brady is wins. You never hear about the receivers on this team complaining about Brady not throwing the ball to them enough. In fact you never hear about anyone complaining about anything on this team. This team is the NFL’s version of Pleasantville, before Reese Witherspoon came in and gave them sex and color. You have guys sacrificing themselves for the greater good of the team. I mean Troy Brown plays on both Defense and his natural side, offense. He saved the game against the San Diego Chargers on a great play.

The Colts on the other hand care about stats as well as winning, and when they don’t perform well they lose. The Patriots play poorly and find other ways to win. So I believe that if Manning had played in New England he wouldn’t have any rings unless he bought into the system that Brady already has. Now if Peyton Manning bought into the system where he wouldn’t have the stats that he has now then, he wouldn’t be Peyton Manning.

Two things before I wrap this up, of the four teams playing for two spots to go to the Super Bowl, there are 16 players going to the Pro Bowl in Hawaii a week after the Super Bowl. Only one is a member of the Patriots, that one, is Richard Seymour. I won't make any predictions, but if the game comes down to an Adam Vinatieri field goal or a Stephen Gostowski field goal miss, I'm going to be very upset and may not be very friendly until the Colts lose to New Orleans in the Super Bowl.

The Terrible Loss, to the Sweet Taste of Victory

I want to first start out and give my condolences to the family and friends of the greatest basketball coach to ever live. Red Auerbach passed away this weekend at the age of 89. The man, the myth, the legend who was Red, was the most respected figure in all levels of basketball. No one came close to the charisma he had. No one came close to the devotion he had for the Celtics, being an active member in the organization for the majority of his life. Words cannot express how much this man meant to the game or the region of New England. If there was one sports figure that is more popular than the Red Sox it was Red Auerbach.

Red Auerbach won 9 Championships in his career as head coach of the Celtics, eight of which were won in consecutive years. I don’t care what anyone says, no one will ever be better than that. People can make a case for Phil Jackson all they want, but he did not do it in consecutive years and he has yet to win one without either Shaquille O’Neal or Michael Jordan, who was without a doubt the best players at their position in the time they were, coached Jackson. Bill Russell was good, but he always had to battle with Wilt Chamberlain for the title of “best there ever was.” I think what made the Celtics so good in those years is that everyone on the team contributed from the first guy off the bench to the last and you can only get a team to do that through superb coaching.

I have never met this man and now I never will and for that I am truly sadden, but one thing I am certain. My guest list for my first meal in heaven just got a little bit longer with Auerbach being very close to the top. (Stay tuned for a post that outlines the rest).

The other thing I must talk about is the amazing events that happened yesterday at Lincoln Financial Field. Temple University students longed to hear it, and I have longed to report it. The Temple Football team has won a game. In a 28-14 victory over Bowling Green State University one cannot help but be very optimistic about the future. No they probably won't ever win a national championship but I believe in a few years they will give the fans here at Temple a lot to cheer about. Take yesterdays game as an example. From the amazing punt block, to Travis Shelton’s first touchdown to his 96 yard kick off return for the score. That is not even close to the excitement that was buzzing from the few fans that were there.

Other points of interest are that for the first time since I have been going to home Temple football games, the Owls had more fans then their opponents. I would also like to send out a prayer to Coach Golden and his wife who are experiencing some tough times and I hope everything works out for the best.

I’m Joe the Intern Signing Off.

Fuck You Buckner

It has been less than 24 hours since my last post, but this story fell into my lap and it is worthy of a post. I was sitting at work waiting for Temple Football practice to start and I was browsing through the many sport stories on ESPN.com, when I came across this little story that revisits October 25, 1986. For those baseball illiterate, this was the night that the one the only Bill Fucking Buckner made the costly error that cost the Boston Red Sox the World Series. At this point if anyone defends Buckner and say it wasn't his fault I will kill you, piss on your corpse, and then throw a print out of ESPN's article on your piss drenched corpse just to prove a point. So before you continue please do me the justice of reading ESPN's article. Here is the Link...EYE OPENER.

Good read huh? Now let me ask this. What the fuck was Buckner thinking?! I mean you were on one cursed franchise and now you're on the other and you decided that it was a good idea to bring the two together in hopes that the two would cancel each other out? This is sports Buckner not mathematics, it just isn't that easy. If it does anything it multiplies the curse times infinity, and you deserved all the criticism you got for those 18 years between Red Sox World Series appearances. To think I actually felt bad for the guy and actually forgave him after 2004. If it wasn't for him I would have been the happiest one year old baby in the fall of 1986 because I would not have known the pains of losing that the Cubs, Pirates, and White Sox fans (until 2005) fans have known for so long.

A lot of you are probably like Boston Joe, who cares it was 20 years ago, no one is still mad about it. Well I am because do you realize that this could have cursed both franchises for a lifetime. I mean until 2004 a Red Sox fan was one of God’s most pathetic creatures, but we had company times two from the city of Chicago. Now misery has no company for the Cubs and I put the blame solely on Bill Buckner. Am I happy the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004? The answer is yes wicked happy, but if Buckner wasn’t cursed times two maybe just maybe the World Series win in 2004 would have been expected or at least old hat since I would assume that we would have been the team of the 1990’s and not the Fucking Yankees. So I say fuck you Buckner you better stay in Idaho or wherever the fuck you are because if I ever see you in person I will single handily kick your ass.

First Post in Awhile

Here it is 3 am and I’m waiting for my 16 copies of my story for fiction writing to print. I decided to check up on my wonderful friend Hustler’s blog to see an interview that I gave to him apparently when I didn’t know who I was. This gave me the idea to read my own blog and to my shock I realized that I have not updated since August 12th and this is not ok with me. So this post is for you the fan, I stress the singular, of Boston Joe’s blog.
It’s October and I’m sad to report the Red Sox are not in the playoffs and they haven’t had a chance since late August. You see if you haven’t heard they lost five games in four days to the New York Yankees and they never recovered. As for myself I almost didn’t make it to the start of my junior year. I was put on suicide watch by my concerned parents in the days that followed that series, I don’t really know why, but I’m assuming it had something to do with the moment they walked into the bathroom and found me on a chair rocking it back and forth with a rope around my neck, next to the bathtub that was filled with water and had a toaster on the ledge.
I have rebounded fairly well with the start of football season and the Patriots getting off to a 4-1 start going into the bye week. All without a number one receiver that is under the age of 30. Our number one is currently the very old but very likable all purpose football player my boy #80 Troy Brown. My explanation for this fast start…well Tom Brady is being Tom Brady the most successful quarterback of the last five seasons.
I’m going to make this a short post since it is 3:30 and my story just finished printing, but I’d like to leave you with a promise that I will start to update this blog once a week at least. So come back soon and as always I’m Joe the Intern Signing off.

Steroids

What story has been a major staple in the world of sports for the past few years? This topic is steroids, it started with baseball and it has slowly seeped in to other sports having congressional hearings for a lot of the leagues in the United States. I’m still waiting for the day that a tiny little gymnast (Dominique Mocheanu-esque), or figure skater (Sasha Cohen-esque) is stripped of her medals or titles and banned from the sport because of their alleged steroid use. The steroids debate has sparked a few of my own questions and got me thinking about how steroids could improve or ruin my life.

The first question I have is why in hell is our nation’s congress holding these hearings at a time when our country is at war. You would think that they would be concerning themselves with ways to end this war and not worrying about a few athletes trying to get an upper hand on the competition.

My second question why after all the debate did congress give the players accused of cheating so many freaking chances. If you get caught killing someone you broke the law and you’re going to jail. It should be the same minus jail time; I think the shame of getting kicked out of league because of cheating is punishment enough.

So I was thinking steroids could make my life a whole lot better. I would first and foremost gain a lot more muscle, instantly making me better at certain sports because I would not get pushed around by guys or girls for that matter that are bigger than me. This aspect is a big plus for me and my competitive nature. It would also make me more appealing to the opposite sex, which in my eyes is always a huge plus. I would no longer by the tall skinny goofy guy, but I would be the tall jacked goofy kid (I’ve come to grips with the fact that no matter how much muscle mass I have, I will always be goofy. It’s more of a personality trait rather than a physical trait). Some might say well Joe what about the whole shrinkage aspect of steroids…I don’t want to brag, but I can afford it.

Now all the benefits from steroids I am still not blinded to the negative aspects that go with steroid use. People on steroids sometimes get injured a lot easier than people who are not, but if doctors give you steroids to heal faster, than just take more steroids heal faster and get jacked at the same time. There is also the fear of “Roid” Rage, I’m a pretty laid back guy and I rarely get to the point of Rage and my coaches always say I play better when I’m angry, so something that would make me more intense in competitive situations, is a plus.

So there are a lot of pros to steroids. And even with the cons I can find justification in why I should use and abuse steroids. So I’m ready to get this habit started so if anyone reading this knows where I can get affordable steroids, send me the info.

Joe the Intern Signing off…

Let Jim In

Tonight Jim Rice will throw out the first pitch tonight at the Nashua Pride game. This led me to my next question I will pose to the baseball gods…how come Jim Rice is not in the Baseball Hall of Fame? I mean he is one of the best Left Fielders in the history of the league, not to mention one of the greatest Red Sox left fielders right behind Teddy Ball Game and Yaz. After an in depth statistical analysis I have found Jim Rice’s Career batting statistics and cross referenced them with the Left Fielders that are already in the Hall at Cooperstown using baseball-almanac.com. Here are some of my findings.

Jim Rice’s Career Stats:
BA: .298
HR: 382
RBI: 1451
OBP: .352
Slugging %: .502
*Hits: 2452
Runs: 1249
*Errors: 66
*Not listed on baseball-almanac.com

Jim Rice had a Batting Average of .298 for his career. Not astounding but it is respectable considering the fact that there are five left fielders already in the Hall of Fame that have lower Career Batting Averages. So how is it that the list of left fielders in the Hall does not include Jim Rice based on the aspect of Batting Average? He is right in the mix with this category. I just don’t understand it, and I’m just getting started explaining my case.

382 HR’s is more HR’s than thirteen guys on a list of eighteen. This is a staggering amount of guys to be higher than especially in a society that loves the long ball. I mean look at the amount of media coverage Barry Bonds gets every time he stepped up to the plate in an attempt to pass Babe Ruth on the all time HR list. This is another lone statistic that gives him instant access to the hall.

1451 RBIs higher than everyone on the list but eight, I don’t know how long I can keep going saying the same exact thing about every statistical category. Despite this, it needs to be done, because he is higher in every category than at least one guy. He may not be the highest in any category but he is certainly not the worst.

The only category that he is in the lower portion is his On Base Percentage. He was not known for his speed so I am willing to let him slide on this one even if he was the last guy on the list. Even so, he was still higher than one, Lou Brock, who he was higher than every statistical category that was listed on except Runs scored.
So how is it that Jim Rice is not in the Hall? His eligibility to get voted into the hall is winding down rapidly and I feel that is my duty as an active member of Red Sox Nation (Member 00067543) to give this guy a pretty decent push and at least make my readers knowledgeable about how much of a travesty it is that Jim Rice is not in the Hall of Fame.

Joe the Intern Signing off.

MV Papi, Patriots Training Camp

The past week all of Red Sox nation were fortunate enough to see “Mr. Clutch” David Ortiz hit two walk off hits in three games. Can you believe this guy? I heard a stat that said the Ortiz has come up to bat in a situation that could win the game 16 or 17 times since he has been in a Red Sox uniform and he has won the game 15 or 16 times. That is absolutely unbelievable, it is getting to the point where Ortiz could come up in the bottom of the 9th and the Sox could be down by 5 and I expect him to hit a walk off home run right there and the game would be over. I know it’s not possible but this is how much faith I have in the man they call Big Papi. With it being August it is time to start my now annual campaign for David Ortiz as AL MVP. So if you’re someone who actually gets to vote and you are reading this please take into consideration the overall “awesomeness” of David Ortiz.

Starting in 2005 and going right up until today Ortiz has 84 HR’s, 253 RBI’s, and 147 extra base hits. His batting average this season is less than desirable at .286, but he has a .390 OBP and a .614 Slugging percentage. He leads the Majors in Home Runs (37) and Runs Batted In (105), as well as placing 2nd in runs (80). These numbers shout MVP just like the chants that are about to start in late August and early September at Fenway Park when the Red Sox are in town and David Ortiz is up to bat.

I brought this up last October with the DH factor and I will say one more time…who gives a fuck?! This season Ortiz has played 9 games compared to the 10 games he played in 2005, he has played 60 innings at first base and has only one error. Lets look at the current MVP Alex Rodriguez who has a staggering 18 errors for a former Gold Glover in 2002, and 2003. This tidbit has earned him the nickname as E-Rod. So lets take advice for my t-shirt that I am selling which pleads for an Ortiz MVP selection in 2006. A-Rod is not my MVP.

In other news, I played golf yesterday and even though my round was sub par, I got this priceless piece of information from my friend Michael Z-Block, that the reason for when Edgar Renteria sucked and Manny wanted out of Boston in 2005 was this…Manny was banging Renteria’s wife. This info he says came from journalists sitting behind him at a recent Red Sox game, but I couldn’t resist bringing it up in my blog. This rumor makes sense since Manny dropped his trade request shortly after the Sox shipped Renteria off to Atlanta. This got me wondering how often athletes have sex with teammates wives. Does it happen often? Do athlete’s wives compare notes? I don’t know but it’s a fun thing to think about.

I recently went to Foxboro to Gillette Stadium to watch a New England Patriots practice. It was my first time in the actual stadium, and I have to be honest, it is about 100 times better than the dump that is better known as Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia. As for the practice, Seymour, Bruschi, Branch, Harrison, and a couple other key players were not there for various reasons, like Branch’s hold out for a new contract, Bruschi’s broken or sprained wrist, but Golden Boy Tom Brady was present and it was almost like seeing Jesus up close. Honestly I would much rather see Jesus up close, but if you were to make a SAT analogy comparing New England Patriots Football to Jesus it would look like this…Jesus is to Christians as Tom Brady is to Pats Fans. Enough said.

Joe the Intern Signing off.